Safe and Unsafe

You know right now I am supposed to be preparing for my class on Protecting God's Children on safe and unsafe touches. (We don't worry about Satan's children - those crazy kids can take most of us out if we even think about touching them safely or unsafely anyways.) So I decided to get some help for the good ol' Internet.
I Googled "protecting children safe and unsafe touches" hoping someone has posted some helpful posters, ideas or whatever to make this uncomfortable teaching experience, I don't know what is the word less UNCOMFORTABLE and more FUN. The first image I see that might help is a poster of an unsafe touch that gave me the willies.

Next I find this:

Yeah, I laughed pretty hard too.

So I keep looking for images to help me teach today and stumble upon:

Very good advice!

Damn, I knew I was doing something wrong when the baby kept slipping onto the floor mats.

Thank goodness someone invented that swaddling blanket because I don't think baby likes the pillowcase much.

I am pretty sure I saw a guy at bowling the other night wearing maternity pants, so he OBVIOUSLY DID NOT get the memo.

Because we all knew people in our lives that sucked and we totally stayed away from naming our kids after them because what if the name can be bad luck.

So by this point I have tears and realize these gems are not helping my lesson, but they are helping my mood. It turns out there is a book of these, and by far the best baby book ever made. I mean even a baby can get the gist of what is safe and unsafe with the friendly pictures and no nonsense (OK a lot of nonsense) format.
Here are a few more for your viewing pleasure

Safe Baby Handling Tips by David and Kelly Sopp

Now back to Teaching about Safe and Unsafe touches.  I just might use these as an ice breaker today with my students.